September arrives and suddenly the kitchen windowsill is a wall of tomatoes, the apple tree has gone into overdrive, and there is a sack of onions in the shed that you could not possibly eat your way through before Christmas. This is the annual dilemma of the British grower, and chutney is the answer. It takes the awkward, the slightly blemished and the hopelessly over-ripe, and turns them into something you will be quietly proud to hand round with a wedge of Cheddar in January.

Why chutney suits a glut so well

Unlike jam, chutney does not demand perfection. Fruit that is bruised, windfallen, undersized or a day past its best will cook down into something rich and dark. Unlike pickles, it does not need fiddly brining or precise timing. And unlike a freezer, it does not care how much you have. A glut is exactly what chutney was invented for.

The other advantage is patience. Chutney improves with keeping, so the jars you make in a frantic Sunday afternoon in September will taste far better in February than they do on the day you seal them. That long, slow mellowing is where the magic happens — sharp vinegar softens, spices settle, and the whole thing turns glossy and thick.

The formula behind almost any chutney

Once you know the proportions, you can improvise with whatever is on the allotment. Think of chutney as four elements in balance:

• Fruit or vegetable — roughly 1.5kg prepared weight. Apples, green tomatoes, plums, damsons, marrow, runner beans, beetroot and onions all work beautifully.
• Vinegar — around 500ml. Malt vinegar is the traditional choice for a robust, old-fashioned flavour; cider vinegar is gentler and fruitier. Do not use anything labelled "non-brewed condiment".
• Sugar — 300–400g of soft brown or demerara. Brown sugar gives colour and depth; white sugar gives a cleaner, sharper finish.
• Spice and salt — a teaspoon or two of mustard seeds, ginger, allspice or peppercorns, plus a good teaspoon of salt. Salt is not optional; it lifts everything else.

Add a handful of sultanas or raisins for sweetness and body, and a grated Bramley for natural pectin if your mixture looks thin.

Spiced apple and onion chutney

This is the great autumnal workhorse and the one I make in the largest batch. It is excellent with cold meats, pork pies and a mature Lancashire cheese.

• 1.5kg apples, peeled, cored and chopped
• 500g onions, finely chopped
• 250g sultanas
• 350g demerara sugar
• 500ml malt vinegar
• 2 tsp mustard seeds
• 1 tsp ground ginger, 1 tsp ground allspice
• A generous pinch of cayenne pepper
• 2 tsp salt

Tip everything into a heavy-based pan — a preserving pan if you have one, otherwise the biggest saucepan you own. Bring slowly to a simmer, stirring until the sugar dissolves, then reduce the heat and cook uncovered for 1½ to 2 hours. Stir every ten minutes or so, more often towards the end, because chutney catches and burns with alarming speed.

It is ready when you can drag a wooden spoon through the middle and the channel holds for a moment before the mixture creeps back. It should look thick, dark and glossy, not watery. Expect four to five jars.

Green tomato chutney for the end of the season

When the first frost threatens and the outdoor tomatoes are still stubbornly green, this is the recipe to reach for. It is sharper and more savoury than the apple version, and it is the thing to serve with sausages or a baked potato.

• 1.5kg green tomatoes, roughly chopped
• 500g onions, chopped
• 2 Bramley apples, peeled and chopped
• 300g soft brown sugar
• 400ml vinegar (half malt, half cider works well)
• 100g sultanas
• 1 tbsp mustard seeds, 1 tsp ground ginger, 1 tsp black peppercorns, 1 tsp salt

Cook as above, for 2 to 3 hours, until the tomatoes have collapsed completely and the mixture is jammy and dark. Green tomatoes hold a lot of water, so be patient — give it the extra half hour rather than rushing it with a higher heat.

Potting, sealing and storing the jars

Wash your jars in hot soapy water, rinse well, and put them in a low oven at about 120°C for 15 minutes to dry and warm. Warm jars prevent cracking, and hot chutney poured into hot jars is what gives you a proper seal. Never use a jar with a chipped rim.

Fill each jar to within 1cm of the top, poke out any air bubbles with a skewer, and wipe the rim clean before screwing on a vinegar-proof lid. Ordinary metal lids will corrode over time, so use plastic-coated ones or pop a circle of greaseproof paper under the lid.

Label with the date and the recipe — you will not remember which is which by March. Then store the jars in a cool, dark cupboard, ideally between 10°C and 15°C. Somewhere like a pantry, an understairs cupboard or a garage shelf away from the boiler is ideal. Light and warmth will dull the colour and shorten its life.

Leave the chutney alone for at least three or four weeks before opening. Properly sealed and stored, it will keep for a year, often two, and it makes a far better Christmas present than anything you could buy. One word of warning: once a jar is open, keep it in the fridge and use it within a month.